All the world’s a wedding

Ruth HartleyMarriage13 Comments

A man and woman in evening dress holding champagne glasses by the front door of a ruined chateau in a bed of nettles

Ruth and John among the nettles Photo by Marianne Pascal http://www.mariannepascal.com/

What is a Marriage?

Marriage- a formal agreement between two people – the ceremony in which this agreement is made – the state of being married.

Wedding – a marriage ceremony.

Women and men are equal in law and in marriage.

“Love doesn’t just sit there, like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; remade all the time,  made new” Ursula K Le Guin The Lathe of Heaven

 

 

A man and woman holding champagne glasses stand in front of a tower with a tree shadow on it

Ruth and John in the shadow of the 12th century tower. Photo by Marianne Pascal http://www.mariannepascal.com/

What makes a marriage?

Love – chemistry, biology, hormones, culture, social conditioning, need, divine and genetic input woven throughout our being. A strong feeling of deep affection. Passion.

Comfort – help, kindness, relief, ease, consolation

Trust – a good marriage is based on trust as are all good human relationships

Intimacy – closeness – sex.

Time – all the years of the past, present and future.

 Who is married?

Helpmates – supportive and critical partners.

Companions – those who travel together.

Lovers – people who look at each other

Different people – people who do not know each other.

A couple in evening dress with champagne glasses in front of a ruined chateau.

Ruth and John and the ruined château of lost dreams. Photo by Marianne Pascal http://www.mariannepascal.com/

All marriages are mixed

You can share the same pillow but not the same dreams.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages”. Friedrich Nietzsche

“To keep your marriage brimming with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” Ogden Nash

“A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.” John Steinbeck Travels with Charlie: In search of America

 

What is essential for a couple are good friendships – those they each have and those they share with other people. Here’s a toast to our friends.

Families are complex and changing. Marriage makes individuals into families. Love, generosity, and kindness make them function.

Here’s a toast to our families.

The lovely, but ruined chateau in these photos is in our village on the banks of the Adour River. We live in a cottage nearby. Marianne took these photos.

 

13 Comments on “All the world’s a wedding”

  1. Rick Hartley

    Congratulations Sis and John, I hope you have many, many more happy years together. Lots of love and best wishes Rick, Chrissie and family

  2. Jane Hentges

    Love some of those literary quotes – so true. May your marriage be as wonderful as that lovely place you are in!!

    1. Ruth Hartley

      There are so many good quotes and so much written on the subject – luckily I only had so much time.

  3. Carol Pateman

    I am in my 46 th year of marriage and for me marriage is like a roller coaster. You have to be prepared for the ups and downs and then the ride will be much more fun.
    Happy anniversary to you both.

  4. Sue

    So sorry I wasn’t able to join you Ruth and John. Looks like you had a lovely day. We wish you many more happy years together. Sue & Peter.

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